project Clive

ruminate

Drinking used to take up more time in Clive’s life than he realised. Planning what to drink, drinking it, passing out, being hung over, attempting to clean up and then starting over. Sober Clive has far too much time to think.

Clive has spent a long time thinking recently
Thinking and walking
Walking and thinking
Churning over the same thoughts
The same mistakes
The same reasons that feel like excuses
The same ‘buts’ and ‘what ifs’
The same information reprocessed
The same answers
The same self loathing
The same lack of strength.

Apparently other people don’t have persistent negative thoughts.

Clive remembers now why he used to drink.

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Clive liked to go walking just after the rain, because rain drops don’t last long enough for you to ruminate over.